He lives, and I shall conquer death!
Afn elderly friend, Rosemary, called me on the phone crying and asked that I come down to the hospital. Her husband, Bob, had been fighting cancer and wasn’t going to make it through the night.
Upon arriving, I noticed the feeling in the room was so different than the beautiful experience I had when my own grandpa died of cancer. Grandpa lived a wonderful life, and even in his last hours on the earth, he had complete faith that he would soon be in the arms of his Savior. He knew his family would be with him someday and that this was not the end. But in the room with Bob and Rosemary, it didn’t take long to realize that they both felt complete desperation and fear. Having never been religious, they believed this was the last time they would ever see each other.
After a few minutes of listening to Rosemary say her last “goodbyes” to her husband, I pulled my chair up to Bob’s bed and asked him what he expected to happen when he passed away. It horrified me to hear him say that he would just become void and never exist again. As tears filled my eyes, I testified that I knew he would soon be in a beautiful place where he could learn and grow and that he would soon find himself in the arms of people he knew and loved. I told them both that families can be eternal, and they too could someday be sealed together forever. I told Bob of our Savior’s undying love and the peace that he would very soon feel as he stood His presence.
After lots of talking and crying, the three of us held hands, and I sang them some of my favorite hymns, “Be Still My Soul,” “I Know That My Redeemer Lives,” “I Believe in Christ,” and “God Be With You Till We Meet Again.” As I sang the last verse of “I Know That My Redeemer Lives,” Bob stopped me. Between his tears and gasps for air, in a feeble, quiet voice, he repeated the words “He lives, and I shall conquer death!” again and again to himself. Then with a slight smile on his face, he said “I want you to sing that to me when I see you in heaven.”
In that moment, they experienced peace and comfort, and the spirit was so strong that none of us could doubt that what we talked about was true. Bob left this life with faith and peace. Five days later, I sang “I Know That My Redeemer Lives” at his funeral, and I can’t wait to sing it to him again someday when I return to heaven!
-Anon.
I have a good friend at work who I want to invite to hear the missionary lessons. She lives a good distance from our home. Should I still invite her to hear the missionaries in my home or should I arrange for the first visit with the missionaries where she lives?
Thanks for your question, Jason. I have a similar situation; a friend visited my ward when I spoke in sacrament meeting a few weeks ago and then moved to another part of town that’s a couple wards away. Here are two principles for you and me to keep in mind: sacrifice and teaching in Spirit-conducive environments.
People can feel the Spirit anywhere; people have felt the Spirit with us on airplanes to California, at bus stops in Boston and on street corners in New York. But we’ve found it’s easier, especially for people who are just starting to listen and feel for the Spirit, to do so in church members’ homes. Well before people arrive, we can turn off the TV, turn on supportive music, silence our phones and electronics, arrange schedules to eliminate interruptions and pray for God’s love to be there. When we do these things, we welcome people into a space that we’ve cleared for them to feel the Spirit and connect with God. It really is something for people to experience a Spirit-filled space as soon as they walk through a door.
Often because we are so excited for people who express interest in learning the gospel, we go out of our way to accommodate them. They say, “I don’t have a car,” and we quickly offer to find them a ride to church. They say, “I’m not much of a reader,” and we shorten the reading assignment we just gave them. When I’ve been accommodating, I thought I was supporting people’s spiritual progression by making it easy for them to succeed. It turns out I was doing just the opposite. I was stunting their spiritual growth by taking upon myself the very processes of choosing and sacrifice that get people nearer to God. So now I say things like, “Who do you know who could drive you?” or “Reading the scriptures didn’t come easy for me at first. What do you think will be hardest for you?” When we ask questions that invite people to come up with their own solutions, we invite them to seek God’s inspiration on how to overcome obstacles and solve daily dilemmas. The moment they hit, “I don’t know,” is the moment they can turn to God for help. And turning to God is when spiritual growth begins.
So, Jason, what I think you really want is for your friend to be taught somewhere free of distractions and conducive to the Spirit’s presence. That experience is so important that we say it is not worth trading for accommodating arrangements. If the distance between your home and your friend’s is considerable, you might sweeten the invitation to the first lesson with a preceding event, such as dinner, Family Home Evening or a holiday celebration. For following lessons, operate from the position that a Spirit-conducive environment is a must and any sacrifice to be in one is an opportunity for your friend’s spiritual progress. We do recommend you not get fixed on all lessons happening in the same location, as what’s important is that the Spirit is there and not the number on the door.
Finally, as lessons continue, people may share that they notice something when they are in your home or other members’. At that point, you may ask them to consider what actions they can take to invite the Spirit into their home just as you have invited it into yours.
Thank you for the excellent advice. I agree that teaching them in our home would be best and we will have to carve out time for that. The other concern I have is missionaries. What if they really get attached to the missionaries teaching them from our ward, but because she and her husband live in a different stake they will have to have those missionaries eventually teach them?
Jason, that is a great question. Attachment to a set of missionaries is a common concern and a refrain I’ve heard before, “Oh things were going great until (s)he got transferred/released.”
As supporting members and fellowshippers, we get to testify of Christ and support people in their conversion to living the way Jesus shows us to live. We also get to support people in discovering that they get to create their own space to contribute to the kingdom of God.
It might take you or others courage, but it would be a great act of love to ask people who are learning, “How do you feel about what the Elders (or Sisters) are teaching? Would you be OK if other missionaries were teaching you?” If the answer is no, then you could talk about why they like the missionaries they know and then help them see the light they are getting is actual the light of Christ, which is in all people. Another question might be, “What do you think it means to comfort those that stand in need of comfort? How might you do that?”
Any concern about receiving instruction from a particular person is oriented just that way, to receiving from that one person. I think what the Savior has asked of us is to orient ourselves to receive from Him and to give to all.
Is that helpful? Do you feel confident in what to say and do to handle that situation? If not, let’s talk further until you are settled on it.